It all started at the Houston Xanga Meet last month. Krysten and I had acquired a couple of Pinocchio toys,  the Shrek version of Pinocchio, and impulsively gave them to a couple of people present. One of the recipients looked at the little toy and said, “This looks like Grampy!”

If only we could be in the shoes, jeans, jacket and life of Ash Ketchum, life would be a breeze. There would certainly be no heinous need to pick something from a bottomless hole of numerous possibilities. For Ash Ketchum however, he simply chooses the one thing he can always depend on whatever, whenever and wherever the situation is: his little mouse friend, because believe me, which other Pokemon would he possibly by obliged to choose, I say NONE. On the contrary, things are not as simple as that for me. Everyday we are given choices to make, choices to decide on and choices to ignore from the moment we reached the age of reason to the day thatl we die (perhaps ironically because of a choice we made, such as eating that one extra cancer-giving Mcdonald’s hamburger 20 years ago, our life could have went on for another 2 weeks …possibly). 

An intentional friend may exclaim to me how lucky I am to have limitless possibilities in the decisions I make in life and that I should be happy, I disagree; I find a life full of choices to be a suffering one.

We’re all familiar with Darwin and his theory of Natural Selection. But did you know that he had a sub-theory called “the healthy mate theory?”

A female peacock doesn’t just choose the most brightly colored male peacock because he looks pretty. She chooses him because his vibrant colors and plentiful feathers signify a sign of health, which is important when it comes to reproduction. Female house finches do the same thing – a male with bright colors is healthy, strong (as strong as finches can be), and likely to live a long life. In some species, bright colors and detailed ornamentation suggest a “low parasite load.” Who wants to mate with someone/something that is infested with parasites? 

The healthy mate theory applies to early humans as well – the women would choose the strongest and (most of the time) loudest men because this signified health and confidence.  You know, those with the biggest clubs and most impressive caves. 

The Personal Search & Customizable Home Page updates we announced last week are now in expanded beta – available to all Xangans!

To try it out, just visit your account settings page:

• http://www.xanga.com/private/editaccount.aspx

And change your “Your Home” setting to “New Private Home Beta”

We’ve also: 

Let me be the first to say that it’s okay.  It is.  It’s okay. Whatever your problems and issues are, it’s all okay, even when they’re not really okay; we’ll just say they are.

It’s especially okay if you have soft feelings, and criticism from strangers makes you fold up like a bad lawnchair.  It happens to many of us the day we learn that freedom is speech is a double-edged sword and not a one-way street.  

Hear me out in this one.

Whenever I think of both the women who complain about the nice guy, and the ones who talk about them, I wonder if the girls are aware they might be using the wrong terms for what they want. To me, I think that the man that they are really looking for is a good man, not a nice guy. 

A bunch of people and I are meeting up in New York next month, so we decided to have an official meet up!  So far, it looks like it is going to be a pretty decent turn out with people coming from out of state (i.e. California, New Mexico, Canada, Maryland). 

The meet up will be a laid back social gathering in Central Park.  Similar to what we did at the San Diego Meet, everyone that comes could bring something such as food, supplies or games to play.  I believe Mr. Vanedave will be giving us a comedy show as well.  I will also be offering free massages to everyone (just kidding).

Details are still being finalized.  So far, here’s what we have planned: 

Editor’s Note: Welcome to our newest feature, “Diary of a Fat Girl”! It’s a weekly column (running every Thursday) from our awesome team member Jen, who will explore issues and ideas related to all things plus-sized! Jen would love to hear your feedback and comments, so don’t hesitate to share your thoughts!

The main editors here at Lovelyish have very graciously offered me a chance to talk about everything plus size – from clothing to body politics to dating – as a feature here every Thursday. Since this is my first post on the subject, I figured I’d tell you a little about my own relationship with my body.

I’m fat. Based on the few posts I’ve made here so far, you’re probably aware that I make no bones about this. Whether I wear something that society tells me is “flattering” to my shape, or something that hugs my skin and exposes every curve, I’m still fat; I have been for as long as I can remember. This is not to say that I have always been content in this body. 

What is romantic?

Well, some will tell you that it is flowers and lovely dates. Others will insist it is passionate kisses and walks along the beach. Some might argue that it is the little things, like little notes left to be found. Ironically enough, the romantic era was less about human love and more about nature. Romantic is a broad concept that seems to greatly vary between individuals. However, I am adamant that many teenagers choose the wrong idols. Think for a second about the role models most young people these days have, in an age unlike any other. Turn on the TV, you hear stories about people cheating without remorse and women being beaten, both fictional and horrifyingly real accounts.

On the reverse side, we are exposed to unrealistic and enhanced “love.”