People always make general rules to follow, but I made these 10 rules for the next guy who will date my ex to follow. I guess I want her next to be better and more perfect? I guess I just want her to be happy…and I also want to move on with my own life.
10 rules
After a surprise dinner for Sugi’s birthday celebration at Brother Sebastian’s, a great local steakhouse, we were back at my house cleaning and doing laundry. Things felt right and I could not imagine spending the rest of my life without Sugi. “Could it be tonight?” I asked myself, and without hesitation, I decided to propose. Having previously thought about how I would do it, many options quickly vanished since neither was there a reserved airplane ready to fly by with a “Marry Me!” banner nor were we on vacation at an exotic place like Monaco.
I am so irritated by the amount of people that write blogs about things they don’t understand. They refer to what are essentially food diary’s and the daily accounts of ED life as “thinspo blogs.” Yes, some girls post thinspo pics every day, but people write off the fact that all of these blogs are by people with a serious disease/addiction.
Of course, many of the comments say things like “Just eat a sandwich!” and are made by people that have no clue what eating disorders are really about.
Every since I started dating, I’ve always been interested in older men. I’m not talking 2-3 years older, although that was the case with my first partner, I’m talking 9+ years older. When I was 18, I dated a guy who was 27. At 19, I dated men between 28-36. And now, at 20, I wouldn’t mind dating a man who is between 40-42. I’ve been asked a lot ‘What’s wrong wtih boys your age?’ My answer: They’re boys, not men.
Reason #1: Men age gracefully.
Sounds like a stupid reason, because there are plenty of guys under the age of 30 who are attractive, but their babyfaced youth isn’t what makes me tick. I don’t want to feel like I’m dating my brother. Why watch the guy get better with age when you can just get a guy that has already aged and looks amazing? It’s kind of like cheese: Aged Gouda is much more appetizing.
I find that many people have very different views about marriage.
Some balk at the idea of committing to one person for the rest of their life
some think it’s pointless
some think the only good thing about it is the tax cuts
some think it’s beautiful
some refuse to do it until it’s equal
some think it’s overrated
some think it’s underrated
some think we take it for granted
I think my views on marriage are highly influenced by my personal experiences. At 20 I have never been married or engaged, so by personal experience I mean what I’ve seen marriage be in my family.
My parents’ marriage is almost perfect. They almost never fight, and when they do start to get mad at each other one of two things happens:
We are all alike where I come from, in my little community, my little tribe within this nation. No really different ways of thinking are tolerated. Oh little differences maybe, but not big ones. Black but certainly not a working man or of lower class. Mexican, but you would have a hard time knowing it. Maybe they go to a different church than I. But nothing fanatical, nothing too different, or they stay quite about it. Politically and socially we are overwhelmingly moderate. Oh so very average. Some say that clouds my vision, blinds me to reality. But I say, how would you know, you live isolated within your own tribe as well.
We build walled communities to keep to our own kind. The same education and class, taste and income are not to vary by much. Even the cars look alike. In my town it’s trucks, in others it is the Lexus, or something looking very much like one. We dress in our clothes, which might as well be uniforms of our class. Entire stores with nothing significantly different in them and no one different shopping there.
So I sat down yesterday and thought about how much time, whether it be minutes or hours, I have wasted in my lifetime. I can’t actually give an exact total, but I can list things that I consider to be a big waste of time; time that I will never get back.
In no particular order….
School bullying is everywhere. I don’t know if there’s even a way to intervene without making it worse for the vicitm of the bullies. Hearing about the 15 year old who hung herself over bullying, really hit home for me.
I was bullied in the sixth grade, when I started getting acne, and my family was so poor we could not afford socks for myself. I never cared, about being poor, if I had to go without socks, so be it. I knew my parents were trying. Other kids, well, they cared. I wore hand-me-downs from my older cousin, and Goodwill-bought clothing. I never had a cell phone, or nice shoes, or anything really nice. Other kids, would call out from across classroom mocking me, and I still remember everything they said word for word. “Your so f-ing ugly, ew.” “Your really wearing that sh-t?” “EW OH MY GOD, you are seriously wearing that?”
Sure, they were petty, but it hurt. I started cutting myself, crying all day, all night, every night. My teacher HEARD what they said, she WATCHED me cry my eyes out, she LISTENED when I told her what was wrong. She did NOTHING. She did not inform my parents of what was happening to me, she did not give any punishment, nothing. Not even when she watched a student beat me up – with his textbook- until I was crying and begging for him to stop. She did nothing. She told me to stop crying. She told me to do what other students wanted me to.
1. Turn off that emo soundtrack. Only listen to music that makes you happy and want to sing along.
2. Get yourself away from whatever is getting you down. No matter how much it’s hard to get away, as much you can separate yourself from what brings you down.
3. Surround yourself with people who will make you happy, not bring you down.
