A Xangan died yesterday. A Xangan I did not know. I wish I had known him. Now it’s too late for me. But it seems he has touched a great many of his fellow Xangans, and I feel I should pay this fellow artistic soul a tribute here on WhenWordsCollide.

I may have stumbled upon his blog in the past, but my memory didn’t click when I visited there this morning. I just spent about two hours “visiting” however, and I’m a little choked up, a little sad, and perhaps a little amazed. But I’m getting ahead of myself. (This entry isn’t really “prepared”. I’m witing as I think, and my thoughts are a jumble with a mixture of awe, grief, and friendship, and all for someone I didn’t even “know” inasmuch as we can ever get to know someone on the internet.)

While I was answering comments this morning, one of the bloggers I read paid tribute to a blog and Xangan called “jstickmann”. At first I thought she was saying he’d shut down his blog, like so many seem to do. I was writing my comment to her, and started to talk about how I hoped he would “come back” with another blog, a sort of generic answer, since I didn’t know the Xangan. She supplied a link to his blog in her entry, so I clicked it. The blog belonged to John (jstickmann), an artist, photographer, and a poetic soul, who passed away yesterday. His brother, Greg, also a blogger on Xanga, had written a beautiful “last post” for his brother, explaining that John had been quite prolific of late, and he and John’s nephews, also Xangans, could keep his artisitc legacy alive for quite some time by posting photos of art and his writings. Continue reading →

We’ve had many Christmas traditions over the years. Some we continue and others we allowed to fall by the wayside as our daughter got older. One tradition that didn’t survive past Krysten’s childhood was our mobile Christmas party.

Brett would dress as Santa Claus on Christmas Eve and we’d drive around to the homes of friends who had children our daughter’s age. First, Krysten and I would show up on the doorstep with a gift of homemade bread. We’d be invited in to visit for a few minutes and while we were there Santa made his appearance. He’d pull candy and gifts out of his bag for the kids, call them by name and ask them about Sunday School or scouting or other activities he knew they were involved in. Then he’d leave, after telling Krysten he was going to her house next so she’d better hurry up and get home. Shortly afterward, Krysten and I would take our leave, pick up Brett down the street and it was on to the next house.

After the first year or two doing this, we decided it was silly to drive all the way back to The ‘Duh after the Christmas Eve service at our church in The ‘Ville, put on the Santa costume and drive right back into The ‘Ville where all our friends lived, so we started putting the Santa gear in the van and taking it to church with us. Once the service was over and the building was empty, we’d get everything except the loaves of bread and bag of goodies out of the van, lock the church doors and Brett would change in the men’s room. Continue reading →

Now I don’t claim to be a marriage expert or anything like that, but I am married so I should know something about it, right?

The following insights have been gathered from talking to people in all relationship stages (single, dating, engaged, married, divorced, widowed, etc.), various and sundry books/blogs/articles I’ve read over the years, and my own experience. Read them through, let me know what you think, and feel free to add your own to this list!

• The sparkle of a new relationship is always temporary.
• The fires of infatuation have to cool before mature love can grow and develop.
• Growing up with happily married parents doesn’t guarantee that your own marriage will be good. Likewise, growing up in a broken family doesn’t necessarily mean you won’t have a good marriage.
• A successful marriage has much more to do with how you handle your current life than what happened in your past.

Continue reading →

He wasn’t a stranger but he might as well have been. I only know him as a frequent customer with two beautiful children, a lovely wife, and an undying devotion to comic books. His name is Matt.

He came into my work the other morning while I was running the store by myself. He whistled at me as he came into the store, being the shameless flirt that he is. He doesn’t do it for any reason other than to make you feel good about yourself. I gave a chuckle as I turned to greet him, “I knew it had to be someone mentally unstable.” One thing about Matt is that he doesn’t do self deprecating humor. Like I said, he’s all about lifting you up.

He asked me what was wrong and, of course, before I could even contemplate lying to him I burst into tears just like I had sworn to myself I wouldn’t do.  Continue reading →

I have been a geek my entire life. I’ve done my best to keep that fact a secret from the world at large so I wouldn’t be ostracized by my peers. I would read manga and watch anime in the safety of my bedroom. I would wait until movies of a more geeky nature came out on VHS/DVD so that no one would see me at the theatre. I would read textbooks and nonfiction books about physics, genetics, neuroscience, and other scientific topics. I was great at hiding this fact from the public and only those closest to me knew of my obsession with all things geek. But the past few years, geek has become cool. Continue reading →

The following is a list I’ve compiled of things that I don’t like, find annoying, and/or perplex me: Continue reading →

Ya know, when this dog was given to us we thought he was well trained. My opinion changed when I found out he had minor food aggression (we’re taking care of that problem) and he pooped on my floor about ten times.

I went off on some rant last night about how we should have just gotten a puppy because there was some things about this dog they didn’t tell us. And at least with a puppy we can train it up to be well behaved, since I’m cleaning up poop anyway.

Then.. I realized something. And I have no idea why it took me this many days to figure this out. I admit, I was being outsmarted by an animal, but we all were.

I read something a few days ago about how huskies do what you want them to if you trick them into doing it. It works better than by being forceful with them. Turns out, HE was tricking US into doing what he wants to do. Continue reading →

Top ten reasons that I might Rec a blog (a la letterman style)

(10.)

I use it as an announcement of as something that I think of as very entertaining and shouldn’t be missed.

(9.)

I use it because I agree with the liberal political message that the blogger is putting forth in some kind of reasonably coherent and articulate manner and therefore want to bring that blog lots more exposure.

(8.)

I use it because the blogger asks that the blog be recced for exposure, (and, I read and listen to their reason), and, if I agree that it is for a good cause I rec it because  I want people to see it.

(7.) 

I use it because someone does a reasonably articulate raking-across-the-coals of Faux opinion network, some rightwinger, or some goofball pundant like palin, limbaugh, ingram, hannity, O’reilly, or G. Beck and I think that everybody should see it.

(6.)

I use it because someone has written a favorable and reasonably well written blog about some other xangan and/or xangans that I really like and I want lots of people to see it! 

(5.)

I use it because they have written an unfavorable and reasonably well written blog about some other xangan and/or xangans that I do not like, (usually because they have been mean to me and/or acted asinine on a regular basis) and I wants lots of people to see it!

(4.)

I use it because someone has blogged something phenomenally ridiculous like some kind of PREACHING that there is only one “right way” to believe or some kind of other silliness, often sexist, racist, homophobic, etc, and a few of us, with our responses, have made it painfully obvious (for the blogger) how ridiculous it was, what they said.  That kinda thing deserves to be shared; advertised if you will.

(3.)

I use it because I exhibit favoritism when I feel like it and I might rec a blog of one of the people here that I like the best, maybe even if it’s not the best, most feature worthy blog I’ve ever seen in my life (so sue me, lol)

(2.)

I use it because the blogger has mentioned my screen name in a favorable way and/or the blogger has provided a link to something I wrote because they liked it.

And the number one reason for which I REC a blog

drumroll please………………………….

(1.)

When I feel like reccing something I rec it, why? ? ?  

Because I can!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How about you?  What goes into your decision to rec a blog?  Do you think there’s really just one right reason to rec. a blog?

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 I’ve worked as a waitress since I was in high school. The days are long, the work is hard, and the only truthful reason anyone has for getting into the food service business is the tips. For me, it was a matter of trial and error over a long period of time before I finally learned the unofficial rules of serving greasy food to ungrateful customers.

So last week, when the store owners brought in an “expert” to give us all some pointers on how to be a good waitress this holiday season, I almost lost it. All of it was the complete opposite of what a good waitress should do, but I saw the newbies taking notes like it was a college course.

Some of the most common “guides for waitresses” that are floating around the web are total bull in an actual restaurant. Here’s some alternatives that I’ve gathered from personal experience. Continue reading →

This is supposed to be a decade where communication and connectivity to others is better than what it was in recent decades, but I disagree with this. I think that social networking sites like Myspace, Facebook, and Twitter give us the false impression that we’re enhancing our relationships through these websites.

By adding someone on Facebook, we gain easy access to their political views, their religion, their hometown,  their relationship status, their sexual orientation, and whatever else we might not know had we taken the opportunity to get to know them. It’s a simple cookie cutter route to getting to know someone. Why take the time to develop a relationship with someone to the point you’re comfortable asking about these things when you can just look it up on Facebook instead?  Continue reading →