November 25, 2009
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5 Times When Being a Girl Sucks
I love being a girl! We live longer, we get fun makeup and clothes, and we can cry in front of our friends and get hugs and chocolate, not ridicule.
But sometimes being of the fairer sex is kind of a bummer. Like these times:
1. Neverending lines for the restroom. (above) Without fail, the line to get into the ladies’ room at a crowded restaurant or bar is longer than Speidi’s to-do list of publicity gimmicks. And without fail, the guys are able to just barge right in without waiting at all. Exception: when you’re at a gay bar. Revenge is sweet.
2. That time of the month. Bloating, crankiness, heavy flow, cramps, leaks: ugh! There’s no way men would be able to handle everything we put up with every time Aunt Flo comes to town. Hey, ladies, at least it’s an excuse to eat chocolate and veg in front of reality TV, right?
3. Childbirth. Men get us into this mess, and then leave us to deal with the MIND-NUMBING PAIN. All kidding aside, though, Lovelies, having kids is something I’m looking forward to one day, but I’m not so eager to experience labor and delivery.
4. Being called a “spinster.”. I was talking recently to a friend who’s 30, and we were discussing how 30-year-old men who are single are merely considered “bachelors” and “playboys” who are having too much fun to settle down, whereas single women of that age are often viewed like there’s something wrong with them. Wow, she made it to 30 without finding a husband? She must have some huge, hidden flaw that’s scaring them off! *cue dramatic violins*
5. Getting older. Society dictates that when men get older, they just become “distinguished.” Look at Tom Brokaw, for instance. For men, wrinkles add character and grey hair is just a sophisticated hint of maturity.
But when we women start to get up in years, we’re expected to inject poison into our faces to paralyze our muscles and shell out for plastic surgery to resculpt everything against the force of gravity. To give just one instance, everyone picks on Madonna for looking old, and the woman is over FIFTY! She’s not supposed to resemble Britney or Miley. The double standard for aging gracefully basically means that women can’t.
So that’s my short list of frustrations with girlhood, Lovelies! Do you agree? What are yours?
