November 24, 2009
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Appreciating Tradition
Do you know how much work it is to feed a family of 30? Or how long it takes to stuff and cook a 20lb turkey? Or how many apples and sweet potatoes I will be peeling to make this year’s pies?
For those of you who are lucky enough to be the ones doing all of the eating next week, let me tell you Thanksgiving is a huge pain in the ass for those of us who on the cooking side of things. Still every year I volunteer for these duties. I even look forward to them!
Am I masochistic? Yes, maybe a little, but that has nothing to do with what keeps me at it. What keeps me doing these things is an appreciation for tradition. It is not something I always had either. It took some time for me to realize what I had. It used to be that tradition was just something that we were SUPPOSED to adhere to, even if we didn’t particularly feel like it. It often felt like more of a chore than anything else. The shopping, the cooking, the cleaning, the putting up with family members we could have gone another year without seeing. Aren’t holidays supposed to provide us with a break?
I didn’t really understand what my family had given me all of those years until I saw the gift through someone else’s eyes.A few years ago a friend of mine from school told me that her mother would be working on Thanksgiving and that she would be home alone for dinner. I told her jokingly that she could come over to my house if she didn’t mind the fact that my family is crazy. To my great surprise, she immediately accepted.
That Thanksgiving my friend arrived to my house with a small pound cake, even though I had told her over and over that she did not have to bring anything. As I took her coat, she must have thanked me at least twenty times for inviting her. I could see a real nervous excitement on her face.
Before long it was time for dinner. Everyone gathered in the dining room and, as we did every year, we said a prayer, took turns kissing the cooks, and then proceeded to eat. Soon everyone settled into the organized confusion of plate passing and carrying on multiple conversations simultaneously. Amidst all of the chaos I was struck by the look of absolute wonder on my friend’s face. I just stared at her for a minute as she enjoyed all of these people that I had grown too accustomed to be impressed by.
Later that day, as I walked my friend to her mother’s car, she stopped me and gave me a huge hug. She paused for a minute before whispering to me,
“Thank you for sharing this with me.”
She then got in her mother’s car and went home.I stood there in the street for a minute, thinking back on everything. The little pound cake, the awestruck look at dinner, the feeling of absolute love I felt when she hugged me and thanked me. Seeing how profoundly all of those things I had always taken for granted affected her. I stood there for a minute and I smiled.
I finally understood why we went through all of the trouble. I plan on remembering this each year when I am battling lines at the supermarket. Or when I am shoving my hand up a turkey’s butt. Or when I am peeling sweet potatoes. I have been given these traditions as a gift. I am very fortunate to have them.
This is what I am thankful for.
