Long time ago my family and i moved to Europe. Like many other immigrants, we quickly started to adjust to our new found home and the traditions and norms it stood for. We moved to a small but cozy town where everyone knew each other and i attended the local school. There weren’t a lot of ‘different’ looking kids at school which really made my siblings and I really stand out. Continue reading →

I have come to a point in my life where I want things. These are not things you can just up and buy at the store, these are grown up things. I want to get married soon, I want a house, I want a family.

I’m scared.

This is not to say that I am scared from a standpoint of emotional readiness, this is simply saying that I am not equipped to take these steps that I want to take. It is frustrating to say so, but I am about three years behind schedule.

I am not ready to be a grown up yet.

I came to grips with this recently and began to think how this could happen to me. I am a responsible person for the most part. I have been a productive member of society. I have never gone for more than a month or two at a time sitting on my ass. How could this happen? Continue reading →

With the dawn of the metro-sexual man, the rise of the sensitive man, and the death of chivalry; male identities are as confused as ever.  Even though these new gender roles are being integrated into the modern male psyche there are things that every male should know. Here are the 8 that I consider most essential.

1) How to Build a Campfire

Regardless if you’re the “camping type” you should know how to build a campfire. Fire is man’s first technological invention and the control of fire allowed us to evolve past tree swinging, chest beating monkeys. Building a campfire is an essential skill. You’ll never know when you’ll need it, but when you do need it, building a campfire could possibly be a matter of life or death.

(building a campfire)
2) How to Navigate using a road-map Continue reading →

To say things are bad at the North Pole is an understatement. Toy manufacturing is at an all time low. Many of the older model toys are no longer in demand. Thanks to the internet many people are ordering on line. It keeps a certain amount of production to keep things in the red. Red is good at the North Pole, black is bad. Santa can’t even afford the coal anymore to put in bad children stockings thanks to global warming. There is not much in the way of solar power and wind power that you can put in a bad child’s stocking to let him know to shape up and mind his parents. Battery operated toys and electric toys are not energy efficient.

Many of the older elves are being forced to retire. If you got your three hundred years in you are force out to keep from laying off the newer elves. Management is offering early outs. If you have at least 270 years in they will give you the needed extra 30 and a cash buy out of fifteen thousand dollars. Wow! You work someplace for centuries and then management gives you enough money to buy an economy sleigh as a reward. Amazing. Us newer elves are on the new retirement system. We are on the Thrift Santa Plan. That and Santa Security checks will give you enough money to live on if you live in a community tent city.
Some folks out there want Santa to privatize the whole frigin North Pole Operation. Oh yea! How does that work?  Continue reading →

I worry about my generation. I am sincerely concerned about the direction in which the majority of my peers are striving. Some days, I shrug it off and declare it battle of the fittest where only the intellectually or street savvy survive and prosper. Other days, I realize that these are people that will be joining me in the workforce. These are the people with whom I will share dinner dates. I realize that these people and myself have nothing in common, except of course our matching Catholic school uniforms. The majorities of this folk no longer enjoy literature, and only pick up a book if it means completing an assignment. The only films they are familiar with are Twilight and Transformers. Kayne West is slowly becoming the next Paul McCartney and Megan Fox the next Audrey Hepburn. This makes me want to run to the next corner, fold into the fetal position, and cry until I die from dehydration.

It breaks my heart to see the rot and decay of generations worth of artistic progression. Continue reading →

Even though it’s called “Turkey Day,” we all know that the best part of Thanksgiving dinner is what goes with the turkey: stuffing, mashed potatoes, pumpkin pie. This MSNBC post about the 13 Fattiest Thanksgiving Creations, pays homage to lots of these dishes in all of their unhealthy glory. While these 13 dishes are certainly unhealthy (Krispy Kreme pudding anyone?), not all of them are Thanksgiving classics. I felt inspired to make my own, more traditional list. Here are my picks for the unhealthiest Thanksgiving indulgences:

1) Bacon and Cheese Mashed Potatoes
As if it weren’t enough to add 8 slices of bacon and a ½ pound of cheese to your mashed potatoes, this recipe also calls for heavy cream, sour cream, and lots of salt. But wow does it sound amazing! Continue reading →

So I realized recently that the older we get the more the Holidays become about everyone around us and the less they become about us.  I’m fairly young, in my early 20′s and am already realizing that I will from now on be in such a situation as to give up what I want for the Holidays in order to make sure that everyone around me is happy on theirs.  I wish I could do it and still get things my way at least a little bit but there is never enough resources.  Either money is tight, time is short or the universe decides against it. Continue reading →

Let me begin by saying that I do not dislike poetry. I am actually quite fond of a lot of it. I just cannot help but feel like an idiot sometimes while reading it. Let’s not even talk about how stupid I feel when I try to write it. I still struggle with the notion that all poems do not have to rhyme.

I liken some poetry to a great work of modern art. I like what I am looking at. It seems beautiful to me. However, when all is said and done, I have absolutely no clue what it is that I am looking at.

When I begin a poem I like I usually find myself captivated by the first line. I continue on, enjoying the rythym or structure the author created, but by the end I am usually completely lost.

Take this haiku for example: Continue reading →

I love being a girl! We live longer, we get fun makeup and clothes, and we can cry in front of our friends and get hugs and chocolate, not ridicule.

But sometimes being of the fairer sex is kind of a bummer. Like these times: Continue reading →

Every time I go to delete and block someone because they are just so irritating and offensive (and that means pretty much every time they open their mouths), I have to stop myself for a moment, just to give them the benefit of the doubt.  Perhaps, just perhaps, it was not their entire life mission just to ruin my day by being mean to me.  Matter of fact, maybe they didn’t mean anything by it at all! 

Indeed perhaps there was something else going on with them, namely, that thing with being distracted or ‘in a mood’ but the thing is, those really aren’t the people I mean. The people to whom I refer are the people who consistently bug me with what seem to be entirely unnecessarily odious or inflammatory comments, but they are not total troll material.  I would call them ‘borderline’ but just above that line of ‘troll’ which, once crossed, makes blogging life so much easier and less confusing.  Continue reading →